Tuesday, January 28, 2014 | By: ToniGurl

9 Days and Hoping...

I'm hoping there is still light at the end of my tunnel, I have 9 days to find another Host Family and I'm doing everything I can to make that possible. Technically I can stay in the Netherlands for 90 days legally but I don’t have money like that. As it is, I'm already staying in a shelter for stranded Au Pairs. It makes me feel a bit better to know that its not only happened to me, but at the same time it totally sucks.

My Former Host Family went through Triple C, and by extension I am their Au Pair, in a sense. I'm not however able to get rematches through them, but on my own I can do it and they can help me. So I'm on my own, and I really do not want to go home and explain what happened, I don’t think I can even put it all into words, I swear I am running on adrenaline if I didnt feel so completely numb. This is how I knew I was upset, I havent eaten since 12pm yesterday, and all I ate yesterday was a bowl of yoghurt.

I hate this situation, but I'm trying to make it better, and not give up. I want to have no regrets for coming to Holland, and I already have one. I wish I had never met them, I tried to give and take, you know, I was doing a lot of giving on my part they werent taking, and then they said I wasnt giving. I'm tired and I'm not going to think on them. I slept two hours last night..or this morning really. It's hard to sleep somewhere you know longer feel welcome.


Anyway, like I said, I'm trying to find my Silver lining, and Operation Find New Host Family is a go! I have so many things I havent had a chance to see it, it would be a horrible pity to leave now...I've only been here 3 weeks...not even a whole month.

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